How to Build Your Self-Confidence by Re-Programming your Mind

We all encounter times in our lives when our confidence in our abilities waivers and our self-image diminishes. It’s how we respond to those situations that determines our success or failure.

In this post, I’ll share a personal story about a time when my own self-esteem waivered and what I did to rebuild my confidence by re-programming my mind.

The Stranger in the Mirror

I recall one morning when I looked in my bathroom mirror, touched my face and said, “Who are you?” I didn’t recognize the woman looking back at me. “What happened to the woman I used to be?”, I asked myself that morning in front of my mirror. Somehow along the way, I lost myself.

I was experiencing considerable uncertainty in my life. My 24-year marriage had ended and I had an adolescent and two teenagers to care for on my own. I faced a redefinition of my sense of identity. I had always been the supportive wife and mother. Who was I now?

At the same time, I was forced to confront the idea of a future of financial uncertainty. Although my ex-husband provided child support, I now had to assume considerably more head-of-household responsibilities. My confidence level took a nose dive, “How am I going to do this?” I doubted my ability to succeed in this new role.

I made a decision right there and then to use my imagination to create a vision of the woman I aspired to be. I would envision the success I wanted to achieve in my life.

I assumed the identity of my future self as though I was already in her shoes. I painted a new image of a woman capable of expanding her potential to grow, a woman able to acquire the results she wanted.

Every day, I reflected on my new self-image, and over a period of time, the image in my mind became a reality. The real Michele was revealed. My perception of myself was now aligned with the image I was presenting to the outside world. This gave me the confidence to move forward on the path to success, knowing I had all I needed within me to overcome obstacles and achieve my goals.

We Have More Power Than We Know

It’s that personal experience that cemented what I now know: When we’re confronted with circumstances that lead us to doubt our abilities, there’s something we can do about it. We aren’t helpless victims.

We have the power to change our perception of the situation. We can originate an idea on how to succeed and get the job done. But our ability to make this shift is greatly affected by our programming, by our inner self-image.

Our Programming

In our minds, we have programmed perceptions of who we are and what we’re worth. That’s our inner self-image. It’s a control mechanism that determines what comes into our lives, how well we do and how the rest of the world will see us.

Our results are always a reflection of what’s going on internally. If we have a negative self-image, our results will be a reflection of that image. The good news is, we have the ability to improve it.

Each of us has an image of perfection that exists deep in our inner core. The key is to develop personality traits that correspond to the true image of the person we aspire to be. The closer the match, the better the results we will achieve in our lives.

How About You?

Have you had times in your life where you’ve lost your sense of identity and confidence? When you no longer recognize who you’ve become? What have you done about it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Do you need help to overcome your programming and create a clear image of the person you want to be so that you can achieve your goals? Contact me. I’d love to help.